mindset

Are You Happy Where You Are?

I Want To Be You.
What Matters Most Is How You See Yourself!

I was sitting across from a client who was in a Breakthrough session with me, and she was telling me why she was unhappy, feeling stuck, and not knowing how to move forward. She did not like her job or herself for that matter. I asked her what it was that she would like to be doing instead. Her reply was ” I want to be you” her exact words. ”I want to do what you do” came rolling out of her mouth. Even though I was flattered by what she had said, because I do get a buzz when my clients breakthrough their limiting beliefs and release their negative emotions. It still left me with a churning in the pitt of my stomach, asking myself questions like:-
Why are women dissatisfied with their lives?
How can we assist them to accept themselves?
Where is this underlying feeling coming from?
What would it take for them to love themselves?
Why do they want to be somebody else?
I have been thinking about this for the past week, and that is why I started this new website – so others can find some sort of comfort in knowing that they are not alone in thinking this way. I too, used to feel that everyone had it all together, knew what they were doing, and were happy doing it, and I was the only one wanting something other than what I had. This wonderful client made me stop and think why I was doing what I was doing.
WordPress Training this weekend has been very informative for me, as it taught me how to make my own Google friendly website using WordPress for my businesses. A work in progress – website not complete yet, although I still decided to take it live, just to show others that everything doesn’t need to be perfect. The website will grow and improve and develop a life of its own in time. I will now be posting updates to help others out there who may be dissatisfied and wondering how to improve their lives.
Who is living your life? Are You? And if not – why not?

Negative Emotions and Limiting Decisions –

Humans have the propensity for self-destructive behavior.
True or False
I have found this to be true, time after time after time.

Why is this so?
What can be done about this?
What are negative emotions (NE)?
What are limiting decisions (LD)?
How are you supposed to deal with them, change them, remove them or control them?

Have you ever wondered if there was a part of you that secretly wanted to experience unhappiness or pain, or even to be punished?

Often times your current emotions don’t have anything to do with the present situation or circumstance you find yourself in, but have more to do with something from your past. The present situation is just a trigger, and this trigger has opened up a wound that was never healed, just buried. If you find this hard to believe, then ask yourself why there are occasions where you find yourself feeling angry or annoyed or frustrated or unhappy over a minor incident, hardly worth worrying about.

Have you ever looked back over a particular incident where you felt very strong emotions and wondered why on earth you reacted so strongly over such a minor occurrence?
Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t, but I’m sure now that it has been brought to your attention, you will be watching carefully and noticing events in the future and how you react to them and how they impact on your life.

Negative Emotions can affect many of your experiences and results in your life, without you ever being aware of the reason. Everything you think and say and do affects everything else. Your capacity to think objectively for example – this may lead to wrong decisions or negative actions, which could turn inward, and you would then berate yourself for being so stupid. But were you really stupid? No, I don’t think so you were just operating with a set of incorrect emotions from the past.

These incorrect emotions may lead to self destructive behaviors, because in those moments, of anger negativity or even depression, there is a need to vent and let Mount Vesuvius blow and this either manifests inwardly or outwardly, depending on who has just pressed the trigger.

When you go inward and vent at yourself, you may think and act with spite or bitterness, and even do things that punish and hurt you. You may be aware you are doing this or not. Sometimes it is so deep, on a level that you are not even aware that you are self-destructing, until things start falling in a heap around you. This may impact on your relationships, your health, even finances.

What about Limiting Decisions?
How often in your past have you been put down, criticized, ignored, yelled at, hit, or worse – given the silent treatment?
What was your reaction? Did you take all this inward and tell yourself that you deserved to be treated this way because if you were a good, valuable person, no one would act this way toward you.

This also is a load of rubbish, but it happens and you then believe that you are unworthy of love, companionship, financial security, comfortable lifestyle or any other niceties.

I’m sure many of you reading this will relate to some if not all that you are reading and wondering what to do about reversing or correcting the situation.

I have found with my clients that Time Line Therapy with a few other modalities thrown into the mix is perfect to reorganize the blueprint of you past, and create a clean slate to operate from in the present so that your future can be what you want not what someone else has programmed into you past.

It begins NOW with YOU – DECIDE –

If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. If you want different results, a change needs to take place.

Make an appointment for a FREE Discovery session now!

Your Back is Your Support System

God made your spine in the shape of an ‘S’ – strong and bouncy, and he connected it to your brain for self preservation, so that when stressful  situations come at you like a charging bull, you have a way out – although ‘pain’ isn’t really a way out of anything, it’s only a way of perpetuating a vicious circle.

When my father died end of July 2006, I woke up the very next morning with a stiff neck, frozen shoulder, and pain down one side of my body.  I didn’t know at the time, that this was my way of grieving.  I was surprised just how strong I was, no tears, or very few, and my heart seemed quite strong also, yet this pain consumed me 24/7 – I went to so many different types of therapists, and had X-rays and other forms of investigative processes to find out what caused this situation ‘all of a sudden’.

At the time I was assisting at Master NLP Practitioner Training, and unfortunately couldn’t continue due to the severity of the pain.  I couldn’t sit, or stand, or walk, or lie, – I would wriggle and cry and scream, and curse (yep – I did that too) and yell, and not to mention bucket loads of pain killers, even morphine injections.  Did any of that help? – NO – I settled on a form of treatment from a chiropractor who did other forms of treatment as well as manipulation, and every time I got off the table I felt worse than before.

Six months on, while assisting, this time in a ‘Hypnotherapy Training’ class still in pain, still believing that it will work, someone suggested I read Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection by John E. Sarno M.D. – I went in search of this book. I couldn’t find it in any bookstore at the time, they either didn’t have it in store or were out of stock, so I ordered it and waited.  I was good at waiting.  My whole life seemed to be one of waiting.  The book finally arrived, so I started reading – “what is this” thinking to myself.  I was expecting some form of movement, stretching, exercise, but no – none of that.   He was telling me it was all in my head.  “WHAT THE” .. I thought to myself, and that was it for the book.

I was strong and patient and  persevered for two long, painful, very expensive years, in the belief, that it took time to heal.  With all my NLP training I should have known better, and my money would have been better spent on grief counselling.  I’m not saying that it was all in my head, because it wasn’t, it was real.  The muscles were in spasm, the ligaments tied up in knots, which were all pulling my spine out of alignment and putting so much pressure on the delicate nerves.  It was a vicious circle.  This was my form of grieving – although I didn’t know it at the time.

When you are in pain – severe pain, you go searching for answers.  You want to know what it is, why it’s happening, what you did to cause it, and how you can fix it.  The last thing you want is for some smart ass to tell you that it’s all in you ‘head’.  You want to just thump them, because you know that the pain is real – How do you know that? Because, you are the one who is living this hell, not all the crazy, well meaning people giving you advice, and telling you how you should go about fixing it.  Love them – they all mean well and just don’t know how to help you in the painful situation you are in.

A few years ago my daughter downloaded an audio version on my computer – I listened to the whole book, but it still didn’t sit well with me.  When pain came up, I would tell it to go away, that it wasn’t real and was all in my head.  Well it didn’t work – the pain didn’t go away, and I, with all my training still wasn’t getting it.  Of course it wasn’t in my head, it was in my body, although my subconscious mind was manifesting my – anxiety, stress, dissatisfaction, money problems into body pain, so that my focus would be on the pain and not on the real issues at hand.  Was I finally starting to get it?  I think maybe I was, sort of.

Early this year, yes you guessed it, the second book from John E. Sarno M.D. The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain was downloaded onto my computer.  I love my daughters,  they all, in their way, try to help, just like mothers in their way, try to help their children.

I listened to the new book over and over.  This time it sat better with me.  It made good sense.  With all the training I have done, I finally realised that – doctors may recommend drugs, surgeons may recommend surgery, body workers may recommend different forms of body work, psychologists may recommend counselling.

We are more than just a body, don’t you remember as a child singing the song – “the knee bone’s connected to the, thigh bone”,  – well it’s true.  We cannot disconnect our body from our mind, and when someone tells you that it’s all in the head, I think, what they mean is that there is something going on in your life that is so painful, confusing, outrageous, that the pain in the body, even though severe, seems easier to deal with than the root of the cause.  We may not want to face or even admit that it could be something else that is triggering the pain.  Been there, done that, – and would have argued with you till I was black n blue that it wasn’t true.  NOW – I humbly admit that I believe it is true.  I look back over my life and realise that hmmm – wish I knew then, what I know now.